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Shattered

I can see the future sometimes, I have the sight. I know went stuff is going to happen. Like all visions its imperfect, but its a start. Just to know something. That flash of intution, the knowledge of life and knowing when to say good bye. It means having to rely on your perception of course, and we know thats faulty, but sometimes you have to have faith. Trust in yourself and all that.

Do you believe in faith?
No!

So we can't trust perception, or fate, or destiny...What about free will? Yeah, well, its a free will thats defined by society, by a set of moral and ethical codes that are pretty painful really...well, no, I mena some of them are okay, and some of them make sense and some are designed to protect society, some are just off shoots of an obsolete religious code, and others have been in place so long that we don;t even think or question them, because they are the status quo and one of the rules is that you don't question the status quo.

Grow up, get schooling, go find a good job, buy stuff, get married, buy a house, have kids, grow old, unfullfilled and die. Does not desiring to follow this path mean I'm not normal.

Do you believe in normal?
No!

I don't really think normal can be defined that easily. Mainstream mainly. The easiest option really. Anything different you have to work at. Its prolly much easier to follow the groove. Its all laid out and simple and clear, all you have to do is connect the dots and paint by numbers. No creativity, no challenge, no invention, just a set of simple rules laid out to allow you to follow a pattern and have something to show at the end of it. It's really up to you to figure out what that something is worth.

I'm afraid of being lonely, No I'll admit it. I'm afraid. Sometimes I see myself in 10-15 years time, having wasted my life, spoilt all my chances because I'm dreaming about some unreachable, some unatainable goal or ideal, when i should have just caved in and gone with the flow taken what was offered. It's never going to be perfect just take what you can get and make the best of it and all that.

Do you believe in love?
No!

There's no such thing as love really.its just two people so afraid of being alone that they cling to each other and pretend its something more than fear. Thats a rather negative thought really. Yeah, it is, but as far as I can tell, its true. I'm not so convinced, its more than that, its fireworks and watching the moon and dreaming together, its the couple in the park in the city. It's loneliness, fear of being lonely.

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