Name: Kevin James Edwin Valerie Bonham (aka Sleepycat)
Real name:  Delete two middle names of your choice.
E-mail address:  k_bonham at postoffice dot utas dot edu dot au
Web page:    None.  If you search really carefully, you'll find one about some snail I rediscovered!
Other newsgroups you frequent:  alt.gothic
Length of time on the 'net / Length of time as a net.goth:  Almost three years
Place of residence:   Sand Bay, Hobart, Tasmania

APPEARANCE:

Chromosomal makeup:   Alien
Age:   27.45 something
Height:   6'2" give or take the hair.
Weight:  Less. Haven't checked for a decade.
Hair for this week:   Long, black and ringletted as for the last five years.
Natural hair color:  I don't even want to remember.
Eyes:   Bluegrey, this week. No legal responsibility accepted for sudden changes.They used to be hazel, I swear.
Tattoos/ Piercings/Other bizarre manipulations: Keep your self-laceration tendencies to yourself, kiddies.
Preferred clothing:   Black jacket (ex-dinner-suit), t-shirt, jeans, docs, fancy belt which must have lots of metal without being studded.
Caught in the act clothes*:   It's not really practical to dress goth in the bush.  Gosh those yellow gloves look sexxy.
 
LIFESTYLE:

Occupation:   Snail (and other invertebrate) researcher/student/contractor, writer on the side
But I'd really like to be:   Retired
Marital status:  Keep your overcommitments to yourself, kiddies.
Mating status:
Sexual preference: Not you.
Number of other acg'ers you've been "intimate" with:   None
Religion:  Keep your mental diseases to yourself, kiddies.
Hours of sleep per day:  8 plus or minus nine, hours completely irregular.
Time of day when you're at your best:  3:33 and 33 seconds. A.M.
Pets:  I am one. A few snails now and then, but I kill them.
Dietary classification:  Carnivore.
Perky/mopey/neither: Keep your polarisations to yourself, kiddies.
Liver:  I don't drink much, should be fine.
 Hobbies: Usenet, record collecting, snail researching, destroying student rallies, chess, election scrutineering, abusing any of (philosophers, greens, Christians).
 
 FAVOURITES:
 
Band:  The Church.
Band that you are ashamed to admit you like on here:  The $i$ter$ of Mercenary.
Pub: Keep your intoxications to yourself, kiddies.
Club:  Keep your crap-music pickup joints to yourself, kiddies.
Epitaph:  "Motion lapsed for want of a seconder";  "78%" (a mark academics used to give me when they wanted me to conform); "No realistic winning chances from this position" (a chess arbiting term)
Book/author:  You know, it's amazing what mould grows on a Gideons Bible if you throw it out the hotel window, and piss on it, and they don't find it for a year. Seriously, I don't know.  Something by Hunter S. Thompson perhaps.  I must like him, cause I rip him off all the time. Shows, doesn't it?
TV show:  Test Pattern. I believe it's into it's 40th season.
Actor/actress:   Keep your celebrity worship to yourself, kiddies. I'm more interested in the idea than the vehicle.
Movie:  The last thing I saw twice was "Cyrano de Bergerac"
Artist/artwork:  "Piss Christ".
Animal: Cats, axolotyls, llamas, scorpions, snakes, snails, millepedes, velvetworms, capibyra, pangolins.
Food:  Chilli. With extra pizza.
Drink:  Ginger beer. Saxbys or Bundaberg. Also pretentious tea (eg Twinings is plebby). These teas are referred to by an impartial observer as "fish", "stick" and "curry" teas.
Texture:  The hide of a skinned Christian fundamentalist.
Place to go: Vatican City. With a nuke or two.

MISCELLANY:

If you were stranded on a tropical island, what three things would you want with you?
Lots of containers. The snail diversity in these places can be staggering. Bulldozer. Plane.

New Star Wars or Old Star Wars?
Fuck Star Wars. And fuck anyone who thinks that much money should be spent on one crap film instead of a hundred good ones.

What is your greatest desire right now?
That inconsiderate motorists be gibbeted from the nearest lamp-post. That is, the nearest one not already reserved for Christians who use the law to impose their opinions on others.

What pisses you off the most?
Politically active simpletons.

What has the exact opposite effect?
Gratuitously offending the above. It helps if they cry.

Anything else you want to say that you don't feel is covered above:
Ekki ekki ekki f'tang zip-boing!

----///---- Kevin J. Bonham (Sleepycat) ----///----
Sleepycat eats student rallies for breakfast! In 30 minutes' heckling of a
400-strong rally, Sleepycat acheived as much publicity against compulsory
student unionism as the union's $10 000 campaign acheived for it.