Diary

• Mi
  • Diary - March 2002
    • 05/03/2002
    • 06/03/2002
    • 07/03/2002
    • 11/03/2002
    • 18/03/2002
    • 19/03/2002
    • 26/03/2002
  • Diary - Febuary 2002
    • 04/02/2002
    • 14/02/2002
    • 15/02/2002
    • 17/02/2002
    • 18/02/2002
    • 19/02/2002
    • 25/02/2002
    • 27/02/2002
  • Diary - January 2002
    • 06/01/2002
    • 08/01/2002
    • 10/01/2002
    • 11/01/2002
    • 15/01/2002
    • 20/01/2002
    • 24/01/2002
  • Diary - October
    • 29/10/2001
  • Diary - July
    • 04/07/2001
  • Diary - June
    • 19/06/2001
  • Diary - May
    • 24/05/2001
  • Diary - April
    • 02/04/2001
  • Diary - Febuary
    • 05/02/2001
    • 23/02/2001
    • 28/02/2001
  • Diary - January
    • 01/01/2001
    • 05/01/2001
    • 10/01/2001
    • 16/01/2001
    • 30/01/2001
  • Diary - December
    • 12/12/2000
    • 18/12/2000
  • Diary - November
    • 29/11/2000
    • 27/11/2000
    • 9/11/2000
  • Diary - October
    • 4/10/2000
    • 10/10/2000
    • 12/10/2000
    • 13/10/2000
    • 16/10/2000
    • 25/10/2000
    • 26/10/2000
    • 31/10/2000
  • Diary - September
    • 1/9/2000
    • 4/9/2000
    • 5/9/2000
    • 8/9/2000
    • 11/9/2000
    • 14/9/2000
    • 15/9/2000
    • 18/9/2000
    • 20/9/2000
  • Diary - August
    • 1/8/2000
    • 3/8/2000
    • 7/8/2000
    • 8/8/2000
    • 14/8/2000
    • 17/8/2000
    • 20/8/2000
    • 21/8/2000
    • 23/8/2000
    • 31/8/2000
  • Diary - July
    • 6/7/2000
    • 12/7/2000
    • 20/7/2000
  • Diary - old/acg
• Holiday
• Results of Personality Tests
• Roleplaying
• Unwritten Rules
• Interests
• Quotes
• Photos
• Handfasting
• Cats
• Vurt
• Home

Strange Days again. Its getting closer to the end of the year, its that pulsing building alove feeling. Its 5 more sleeps til we go away, and its 14 more sleeps until my personal deadline for change.

I had a little gathering at my house last nite. SOme friends, cooked dinner, talked and watched Muppet Christmas Carol and made Christmas pudding, it was very friendly and fun. The biggest suprise of the evening was a gift from Mikey - he some how or other managed to get Muppet Christmas Carol on sell through video - no fucking idea how he managed it - I've been searching for years. But needless to say - I was estatic, its a fantasic thing to have.

I just read a ben elton book called inconcievable. Its all about the story of this couple who are trying and failing to have children, and have been trying for over 5 years before they start IVF. So I've started thinking about the children thing again, I guess I have to every now and then. Its supposedly the ultimate expression of love between two people or some such crap. I can't picture myself breeding at the moment. I have absolutely no desire to complicate my life with children. I've been working all along on the theory that sooner or later my body clock will kick in and start demanding kids. Then again maybe it won't, if it does I may start listening - or may try very hard to ignore it. I used to think about having kids when I was with Madi, he very much wanted to breed. I didn't, or maybe I did a little, but 'wasn't ready', even now I can still picture being happy with madi and a couple of spawns at some stage, all though I think thats past the even slightly likely stage and over into the not going to happen at all stage. Strange when I do think about that mythical day when maybe/maybe not the body clock kicks in, I can't picture the father being anyone but Madi. So I guess its still very definately no kids. Maybe I'll be a mad old lady with 10 cats :)

14 more sleeps, and I still have no real idea of what or why I need this change. I know I need a door closed, I know I need a new beginning. But I still haven't really managed to come up with any definitive goals other than keep happy and sane. I guess I'll keep improvising. I would kind of like a 5 year plan too. I have no real concept of what direction I'd like my life to go in. I'm kinda of happy being single at the moment, I also really need the time to assert my individuality and self (fuck that sounds like hippy crap, but its not) If I'm going to work at builiding a new me, more self-esteem and an ability to properly express myself definately have to be parts of the package. So while I think about possible future stable happy relationships, at the moment i have to put me first. Which is good - because thats one definite answer to a potential situation. KNowing what I want is good. Of course - what I want right now - is to go away with Mikey to Sydney and Canberra and down the coast and have an absolutely fantastic holiday!

Having a party in a few days - friday to be exact. Bit nervous about it - I've been very slack with handing out invites and actually telling people its on. So I have a suspicion we may not get many people there. I also haven't even started making my dress. I have to clean house - Rearrange furniture and do laundry and think about packing for our holiday.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to meet the surgeon who will operate on my ankle. I'm very nervous, as per usual, and have to remember to take the ultra sound things.

Sex theory. There are four sorts of sex with a regular partner. Morning sex, lazy afternoon sex, bedtime nite sex and in my case, fuck like rabbits when still awake after getting home from a club. I really really like the being still away and not to tired/grumpy after a club sort, some of my best sex happens that way. However thats not a regular thing. Morning Sex - can be alot of fun, is a fantastic way to start the day, unfortunatley its usually short because its a finish and get out of bed thing, instead of lying around all lazy like and feeling nice together. Lazy afternoon sex - this works best on a weekend - and its the sort where there is a really big long relaxed build up - lots of lying around just chatting and stroking and being comfotable and then getting really good, this is usually fanatastic, because when you have nothing else to do, and no deadline you can just relax and take awhile and really really enjoy things. I think this is my favourite. Evening, bed time sex - strange how this seems to be the most common, but probably my least favourite. This is usually late at night, usually tired, occasionally worried about having too go to work the next morning, and the roll over and go to sleep factor. This does have the avantage that curling up together and hugging is one of the nicest things in the world. So - club sex and afternoon sex are prolly my favourite. Then morning sex and then evening sex. Of course that seems to be opposite from the order it usually happens. Oh well - I'm still enjoying all of it :)

New Years eve - still not certain but most likely celebrating with Megan.