Diary

• Mi
  • Diary - March 2002
    • 05/03/2002
    • 06/03/2002
    • 07/03/2002
    • 11/03/2002
    • 18/03/2002
    • 19/03/2002
    • 26/03/2002
  • Diary - Febuary 2002
    • 04/02/2002
    • 14/02/2002
    • 15/02/2002
    • 17/02/2002
    • 18/02/2002
    • 19/02/2002
    • 25/02/2002
    • 27/02/2002
  • Diary - January 2002
    • 06/01/2002
    • 08/01/2002
    • 10/01/2002
    • 11/01/2002
    • 15/01/2002
    • 20/01/2002
    • 24/01/2002
  • Diary - October
    • 29/10/2001
  • Diary - July
    • 04/07/2001
  • Diary - June
    • 19/06/2001
  • Diary - May
    • 24/05/2001
  • Diary - April
    • 02/04/2001
  • Diary - Febuary
    • 05/02/2001
    • 23/02/2001
    • 28/02/2001
  • Diary - January
    • 01/01/2001
    • 05/01/2001
    • 10/01/2001
    • 16/01/2001
    • 30/01/2001
  • Diary - December
    • 12/12/2000
    • 18/12/2000
  • Diary - November
    • 29/11/2000
    • 27/11/2000
    • 9/11/2000
  • Diary - October
    • 4/10/2000
    • 10/10/2000
    • 12/10/2000
    • 13/10/2000
    • 16/10/2000
    • 25/10/2000
    • 26/10/2000
    • 31/10/2000
  • Diary - September
    • 1/9/2000
    • 4/9/2000
    • 5/9/2000
    • 8/9/2000
    • 11/9/2000
    • 14/9/2000
    • 15/9/2000
    • 18/9/2000
    • 20/9/2000
  • Diary - August
    • 1/8/2000
    • 3/8/2000
    • 7/8/2000
    • 8/8/2000
    • 14/8/2000
    • 17/8/2000
    • 20/8/2000
    • 21/8/2000
    • 23/8/2000
    • 31/8/2000
  • Diary - July
    • 6/7/2000
    • 12/7/2000
    • 20/7/2000
  • Diary - old/acg
• Holiday
• Results of Personality Tests
• Roleplaying
• Unwritten Rules
• Interests
• Quotes
• Photos
• Handfasting
• Cats
• Vurt
• Home

Well its been awhile since I wrote last. I didn't move as planned then - and am still in the process of trying - I've applyed for a few places, cross your fingers and hope I get the one I want.

I've been getting sicker, not better, and been forced to the realisation that this isn't magically going to go away - and I have to learn to deal with it. I'm still in denial, but thats okay.

I desparately need a car. It's getting so as I can't get around without one. Sort of a big electric wheel chair. This kind of sucks, but i can't keep imposing on people for rides forever. I'll have to go sell my soul to a bank or something. I'm pissed at my parents who wont even give me a token deposit, they have given the others far more help than i ever got.

Mum rings and says she feels bad cos I'm sick, but she doesn't offer to help any. Thats one of the things that scares me - the complete lack of real help. I've got some understanding and nice friends but no-one who can truly be depended on.

I haven't got anything from my wishlist on the previous entry.

I have to go back into hospital on the 12th of November, Cos the drugs aren;t working - the doctor wants to try some intense therapy instead. I'm not overly looking forward to it - i think i don't like admitting that its serious enough to make me go into hospital.

This year isn't at all working out the way I wanted. I didn't find the energy to do all the stuff I wanted - I've been sick far to often and getting sicker, I've had major depression for the first time ever, Madi getting sick didn;t help. I'm not happier with where I live, or my social life. Things didn't work out at all the way I had wanted with Mike, silly afraid of committment person. I lost at least one rather close friend, and I want to meet a boy who doesn't think with his dick. I'm ready for a relationship again, I just have to meet the right person, and I'm looking around and not seeing any candidates.

Angry at myself and the world around me because i want more help and support, and i don't feel strong enough to do it by myself.

going before this gets any grumpier