Diary

• Mi
  • Diary - March 2002
    • 05/03/2002
    • 06/03/2002
    • 07/03/2002
    • 11/03/2002
    • 18/03/2002
    • 19/03/2002
    • 26/03/2002
  • Diary - Febuary 2002
    • 04/02/2002
    • 14/02/2002
    • 15/02/2002
    • 17/02/2002
    • 18/02/2002
    • 19/02/2002
    • 25/02/2002
    • 27/02/2002
  • Diary - January 2002
    • 06/01/2002
    • 08/01/2002
    • 10/01/2002
    • 11/01/2002
    • 15/01/2002
    • 20/01/2002
    • 24/01/2002
  • Diary - October
    • 29/10/2001
  • Diary - July
    • 04/07/2001
  • Diary - June
    • 19/06/2001
  • Diary - May
    • 24/05/2001
  • Diary - April
    • 02/04/2001
  • Diary - Febuary
    • 05/02/2001
    • 23/02/2001
    • 28/02/2001
  • Diary - January
    • 01/01/2001
    • 05/01/2001
    • 10/01/2001
    • 16/01/2001
    • 30/01/2001
  • Diary - December
    • 12/12/2000
    • 18/12/2000
  • Diary - November
    • 29/11/2000
    • 27/11/2000
    • 9/11/2000
  • Diary - October
    • 4/10/2000
    • 10/10/2000
    • 12/10/2000
    • 13/10/2000
    • 16/10/2000
    • 25/10/2000
    • 26/10/2000
    • 31/10/2000
  • Diary - September
    • 1/9/2000
    • 4/9/2000
    • 5/9/2000
    • 8/9/2000
    • 11/9/2000
    • 14/9/2000
    • 15/9/2000
    • 18/9/2000
    • 20/9/2000
  • Diary - August
    • 1/8/2000
    • 3/8/2000
    • 7/8/2000
    • 8/8/2000
    • 14/8/2000
    • 17/8/2000
    • 20/8/2000
    • 21/8/2000
    • 23/8/2000
    • 31/8/2000
  • Diary - July
    • 6/7/2000
    • 12/7/2000
    • 20/7/2000
  • Diary - old/acg
• Holiday
• Results of Personality Tests
• Roleplaying
• Unwritten Rules
• Interests
• Quotes
• Photos
• Handfasting
• Cats
• Vurt
• Home

Freedom and Independance. These are two good things and two things to value. Given how many wars have been fought over these two ideals, thats hardly suprising to come to this conclusion. Yet moments of revelation are always a suprise, when the fog lifts and you realise what you knew all along is true.

I'm talking personal freedom and independance. I'm talking about the fact that I'm my own person and beholden to nobody. There is responsibility towards others, but ultimately I am who I want to be and happy with that.

One of the most wonderful things about my relationship with madi is that I always always felt like my own person around him. I was never reneeandmadi, I was always still an individual. I never felt pressured to change or conform, I felt loved for who I was, and that was a good thing. Although I enjoyed being renee and madi, I was always still renee, and madi was always madi, we never did that amorphous thing that many couples seem too.

So now I'm just renee, but then I always have been just renee, and lets be honest here, I'm pretty happy with that. It's taken me awhile to come to this conclusion. But yeah, revelation always tends to be sudden.

I slept alone last night, well, as alone as you can sleep with a tiggrr, two cats and a green fuzzy blanket. And you know what - it was good. Nobody to complain about bed hogging, or steal blankets, and no subconscious fear that you may be disturbing another person. Just me!

It's been a pretty long time since I've slept alone, and there are times when it can be really good. It's probably the best nights sleep I've had in a long time. And yeah, sure its nice to know that there is another body there that will roll over and hug you, but its also nice to be free.

I'm in a good mood today, it's something thats been building all weekend. It's achieving a comfort level with those around me, and more importantly within myself. It's realising who I am and being me. And well, for the rest of you - you can either accept that or fuck off! :) I'm back!